Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thursday, 10/28

Woke up to a new scale reading: 230lbs.  Wow.  In another half pound, I'll see 22X.  I'm excited!  (I'll be even more excited to see 21X or 20X (or let's be honest- 1XX).

Breakfast: I'm pretty happy with this.  I created it using just what I have on hand, which isn't much seeing as we are moving tomorrow!  English Muffin (100c) with 1tbsp hummus (45c), 1/4 tomato sliced (10c), 1svg halumi (90c), and 1 small apple (55c).  Total=300  And it was delicious!!!  (I think we'll be having this for breakfast tomorrow, although we will have to share the last apple we have!)

Lunch: HC Meal (260c) & Garlic Bread (140c) = 400c

Snack: HC Meal: 220c

PreWorkout Snack: 90c

Dinner: Keilbasa, Pierogi, Broccoli, 1/2 english muffin (700c) and pudding (60c)= 760c

Total: 1770 calories

Higher than I wanted, but we ran a good clip (45m plus 10m walking!) and I've moved a lot of stuff today!!!  The run burned 550c and the walking segment (warm up and cool down) burned 75c for a total of 625c!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wednesday, 10/27

Weight: 230.5

Breakfast: eggs, toast, veggie bacon, apple cider= 500c
Lunch: snow crab roll sushi (500c) and pudding (60c) and Coke Zero= 560c
Dinner: 2 small fried pork chops (250c), rice (200c), beans (150c), cornbread (170c), Coke Zero= 770c

Total Calories: 1830c

While I didnt do any formal exercise, I did pack a lot of boxes, which worked up a sweat.

Edit@11pm.  I was hungry so I broke down and had a pudding (60c) and 4 carrots (100c) with light ranch (80c), for a total of 240c.  :(  That brings my total for the day to 2070.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tuesday, 10/26

Breakfast: Healthy Choice meal (300c) and Coke Zero (0c)= 300c
Lunch: Boston Market with Peter=900c (EEK!!!)
Preworkout Snack: String Cheese= 90c
Dinner: tuna sandwich (250c) and tomato soup (210c), and half a single svg lemon cream pie (150c)=610c

Total: 1900 calories

Fitness Yoga class: burned 350c

Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday, 10/25

Breakfast: Healthy Choice meal 250c, 2 glasses water, Cherry Coke Zero
Lunch: Brother's Pizza 2 slices of Sicilian style pizza- 500c
Dinner: Lasagna, Garlic Bread, Salad, Skinny Cow ice cream bar- 800c

Total: 1550c

Went for a run a with Sarah: burned 360c

***
I really enjoy the HC meals.  I'd love to eat them for breakfast and lunch, but the cost!  It would be through the roof, unless I got them on sale every single time!

The Week in Review, 10/18-10/24/10

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 234lbs
As of this morning, the scale reads: 231.5lbs
Total Weight Lost: 2
This is better than last week.


I started out the week hoping to do at least 1 day of exercise.
This week, I walked & ran on one day, and did 2 power yoga classes on two days, for a total of 3 days.
This is better than last week.

This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1500 per day.
My best day logged 1285 calories and my worst day logged 3440 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 1845.  
This is better than last week.


On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success with no regrets, I would give Oct 18th-Oct 24th, a ranking of 7.  I am okay with the exercise, although I would have liked to have ran a second day, and I think my food choices were better than last week.  I was happy with my calories 5 out of 7 days (I was near my goal or under those days).  I saw the scale hit 230.5 but killed it with our Blue Sage outing.  That was a huge disappointment.  

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday, 10/24

No Breakfast

Lunch: 1/4 of my Blue Sage wrap from last night (I shared the 1/2 I saved with Peter), est. 200c; homemade cream of asparagus & shrimp soup (it's the table cream that kills it!), 380c; coffee with creamer, 50c, Cherry Coke Zero, 0c.  Total: 630c

For dinner, I'm making mediterranean wraps and cream of sweet potato soup (all from scratch).  It will be interesting to see the calorie counts once I add stuff up!  But, on a good note, Sarah and I have planned a run!

Edited 10/25: Well, we didnt run (although we did go shopping...)  Everyone else, babies included, loved the soup, but I wasnt a big fan, so I'll give myself 100c for the few bites I took.  However, I (in addition to Sarah and Peter) LOVED the wraps!  A whole wrap was, easily, 500c, and I ate half a second wrap!  So, 750c.  Total for dinner: 850c.  Afterwards, I had a late snack: a 60c pudding container.  It was delicious!


Total for the day: 1540c

Saturday, 10/23

What a food day!  I woke up this morning to 231.5, but that wasn't to last!

Breakfast: 500c.  I made salmon eggs benedict, with homemade low-cal hollandaise sauce.  I was pretty happy with myself!  I also enjoyed 8oz of fresh apple cider!

Lunch: 1/2 a side serving of tomato soup (150c) with half a multigrain roll (155c) and 1/2 a tuna sandwich (470c) from Zoup, along with some iced tea (75c)  So, total: 850c

Dinner:  We met friends at Blue Sage.  I can't even imagine the calories, but I'm going to take some guestimates.  I had a few bites of a variety of appetizers that the table shared, so I'll say 150c.  My dinner was called El Fino and it was DELICIOUS!  (Griddled spinach wrap encases grilled pears, maple pecans, gorgonzola, grilled onions, baby greens & dairy free carmelized onion mayo. Served with spring mix in pear-walnut vinaigrette, oranges, roasted baby yellow beets & sundried cranberries.)  I only ate half the wrap and none of the salad (I brought the rest home with me).  But I will estimate 400c- just for that half!  For dessert, Peter and I shared the hazelnut toffee basket (Filled with rich chocolate buttercream mousse, caramlized bananas & toasted hazelnuts) but because the kids were really tired, we ended up leaving at least 1/3 of it behind, so I'll estimate 250c for what I did eat.  Plus, I had about 8oz of champagne. So, about 150c.  So, an estimate of 950c for dinner

Total Damage: 2300c

Friday, October 22, 2010

Friday, 10/22

Woke up this morning to another pound down on the scale!  231.5!

No Breakfast
Lunch: Tuna fish and a large salad (450c)
Snack: 2 Kashi cookies (260c)
Snack: Jello Mouse (60c) and ColbyJack string cheese (90c)

I have power yoga tonight (yay for burning 500c!) and then, let's see... What to make for dinner!  I picked up some fresh veggies from a farm stand, so those will play a role!

Edit@11:43pm.  I'd say the yoga was a cross between fitness and power, so we'll give it 350c burned. 
Dinner: Mashed sweet potatoes (330c), green beans (50c), Quorn Gruyere cutlet (260c), total: 640c


Total for the day: 1500c
Total burned: 350c

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thursday, 10/21

A.M. weight: 233

Breakfast: SlimFast Bar (100c) and salmon (150c): 250c
Lunch: Shrimp Tempura Sushi (500c), Veggie Goyza (125c), Cherry Coke Zero: 625c
Snack: Pumpkin Spice Latte with skim milk from Panera (300c), cup of black dark roast coffee (5c)
Dinner: Gourmet Salad- avocado, tomato, gala apple, celery, carrot, baby romaine lettuce, Quorn cutlet, light Hidden Valley Ranch dressing (350c), Cherry Coke Zero
Snack: WW bar (100c)

Total: 1530 calories

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wednesday, 10/20

No Breakfast or A.M. Snack
Lunch: 2 quorn patties on 4 slices WW bread with 2tsp mayo, and diet coke (400c)
Snack: Gatorade (15c)
Edit@10:43pm
Preworkout Snack: 120c
Postworkout Snack: Gatorade (30c)
Dinner: Stirfry (720c)
Total Food: 1285


Ran with Sarah: walking portion (115c) and jogging portion (370c)= total calories burned: 485c

Tuesday, 10/19

Breakfast: Choc Cheerios w/ Skim Milk (140c)
Lunch: Thai Food- Veggie Medley w/ Brown Sauce, Rice, and Lemongrass Soup (1/3 svg) (450c, est) with a Cherry Coke Zero
Snack: 2 pieces of dark chocolate (80c)
PreWorkout Snack: 100cal snack pack (100c)
Dinner: Veggie Chili w/ 4 whole wheat club crackers and a salad with light ranch dressing, with diet decaf iced tea (550c)

Went to the gym for an hour fitness yoga class, burning about 350 calories.  Woo Hoo!

So, total intake was 1320 with a burn of 350!  And, this morning, the scale read 232.5!!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Monday, Oct 18th

Breakfast: Shake (200c)
Edit@9:41pm:
Lunch: 240c
Snack: 100c
Snack: 200c
Dinner (shoot me now...)  We went to Elevation Burger.  While there are no official calorie counts, online I found the following: Elevation Burger (1700c), fries (200c), 16oz chocolate malt (800c), and a coke zero (0c).  That means, dinner alone, **gulp** was 2700c.  We have to stop doing EB... The calories are killing me!
Total for the day...  2700+740=3440.  YUCK.  Not a great way to start off the week.


***
I'm looking over the class schedule at the gym where we will be living near in (gulp) 11 days, and there are a few I think I'd like to take.

Definitely the Friday night Ashtanga class (burns 500c).  And there is something I *could* do each night of the week, I think.

Monday: Fitness Yoga 6pm or Pilates 7pm
Tuesday: Fitness Yoga 7pm
Wednesday: Cardio Blast 6:30pm
Thursday: Fitness Yoga 6:30pm
Friday:  Ashtanga Yoga 6:30pm
Saturday: Pilates 9:30am or Fitness Yoga 10:30am or Hatha Yoga 11:30am
Sunday: Fitness Yoga 10am

There are a few morning classes too:
Monday: Fitness Yoga 10:30am
Tuesday: Yogalates 8:30am or Fitness Yoga 10:30am
Wednesday: Pilates 10:30am
Thursday: Yogalates 8:30am
Friday:  Fitness Yoga: 10:30am

So, we shall see if I can manage 3 a week once we move!  Plus my running of course!

The Week in Review, 10/12-10/17/10

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 234lbs
As of this morning, the scale reads: 234lbs
Total Weight Lost: NONE
This is worse than last week.
I started out the week hoping to do at least 1 day of exercise.
This week, I walked & ran on one day, and did an Ashtanga yoga class on another day, for a total of 2 days.
This is worse than last week.

This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1500 per day.
My best day logged 1186 calories and my worst day logged 3050 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 1849.  
This is worse than last week.


On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success with no regrets, I would give Oct 12th-Oct 17th, a ranking of 5.  I am okay with the exercise for the week (and I LOVED the yoga class) but my eating was pretty terrible.

Sunday, Oct 17

Another funky day...

I made buttermilk pancakes for breakfast (est. 400c, with syrup)

No snacks

For dinner, I made roast chicken, onion roasted potatoes, roasted carrots, a side salad, and cornbread.  I also had a cup of sweet coffee with a piece of lemon cake.  Estimated calories: 1500

Estimated calories: 1900c

Saturday, Oct 16

A funky day, eating wise, that was high calorie :(

No Breakfast

Lunch: Mexican food (cheese flautas, rice & beans, margarita) estimate: 1000c

No Snacks

Dinner: 2 slices cheese pizza, piece of tres leche cake (I know...)  estimate: 1000c

estimate: 2000c

Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday, Oct 15

No Breakfast
Snack: 130c
Lunch: 300c
Pre-Workout Snack: 100c
Post-Workout Snack: 100c
Dinner: 770c

Total: 1400c

Workout: 55m Ashtanga Yoga class (burned 500c)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thursday, 10/14

No Breakfast
Lunch: 386
No snacks
Dinner: Went to TexMex.  Had a house salad with shrimp and ranch dressing.  Based on the nutritional info available for Chili's where the salad is similar, I'm guessing about 500 calories.  Had a scoop of chocolate ice cream and coffee for dessert.  Guestimating about 300 calories.

Total: 1186

I still feel horrible about yesterday.  Trying not to dwell on it, but it's hard.

Wednesday night follow up

Dinner was only 450 calories but then I screwed the pooch at a function and packed in (at least) 1500-1800 calories in junk.  I'm so disappointed in myself.

Estimate for Wed: 3050

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wednesday, 10/13

B: 200
S: 100
L: 500

Tuesday, 10/12

B: 300c
L: 270c
S: 350c
D: 475c
S: 300c

total:1695c

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Week in Review, 10/4-10/11/10

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 238lbs
As of this morning, the scale reads: 234lbs
Total Weight Lost: 4lbs

I started out the week hoping to do at least 1 day of exercise.
This week, I ran, walked, and biked, over 4 days.

This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1500 per day.
My best day logged 1355 calories and my worst day logged 2125 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 1691.

On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success with no regrets, I would give Oct 4th-Oct 11th, a ranking of 7.  I am happy with my exercise and weight loss.  I feel that I could do better with my calories (even though I know I am doing MUCH better than I was before I was counting calories and watching my intake).

Monday, October 11, 2010

Monday, 10/11

Back on the wagon...

Breakfast:  I'm out of milk, so... no shake :(  But, I did enjoy my tasty treat!  2 eggs (fried with Pam spray) (140c), 2 pieces of vegetarian "bacon" (60c), and 2 pieces of WW bread, toasted, with 2/3tsp "buttery spread" (110c).  So, all together 300 calories.  And it was delicious and very filling!

Lunch: Tuna sandwich (100c plus 50c for mayo plus 10c for minced onion) on WW bread (90c), a diet cherry Dr Pepper (0c), and a 100c pack of choc covered pretzels (100c).  Grand total...300 calories!  And, again, as with breakfast, it was delicious and very filling.

I'm doing some light housework now before I feed the kid lunch, bathe them, and play with them.  I'm hoping to get a run in tonight with Sarah.  We shall see!  I loved when Peter dropped us off and we ran home.  It gave us the impetus to do the full 3 miles, since we had to get back home anyway!

Mmmm.... What will I do with my other 900 calories for the day... ;)

Edit@ 8:14pm
Feeling pretty good about the day still.  I was hungry mid-day so I had a HC meal (230c) and a piece of pumpkin bread (not sure about the calories- I'll guess 150?).  So about 380c.  Then, I had a skinny pumpkin latte  (181c for the milk, none for the espresso, and 49 for the flavoring, so 230c).  For dinner, I had stirfry over rice and vegan black pepper steak. (410c).  For dessert, a WW carrot cake (90c), so 500c total.


That brings my total for the day to 1710, about 210 more than I'd like, but still a good place.  Especially since I walked to the store (140c burned) and then Sarah & I jogged for a half hour (about 2.25-2.5 miles, I'm guessing in distance, but whatever the distance, we burned about 372 calories), so I burned about 512 calories!  Woo Hoo!  (I get my calories burned from this site; it's pretty awesome.)


All in all, I'm happy with the day!  On to tomorrow!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

If I slipped...

...then today I fell...

I dont even know calories, but here's what I ate.

Salmon eggs benedict (1000c???)
Small roast beef sandwich, 4 slices of pita & 2 crostini with hummus and crab dip (Christening luncheon)
Small portobella rueben
2oz sugar free icecream on sugar cone
1 caramel

Tomorrow will be better.  It WILL be...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Slipped From the Wagon...

So, last night...  I wanted/needed/whoknowswhat a snack...  So I ate a 100 calorie chocolate covered pretzel pack... Still wanted more... So a WW cake at 90 calories... Still more... Finally a frozen fruit pop at 80 calories and I decided that, even though I wanted more, I'd just packed in nearly 300 calories and really needed to go to bed.  I feel terrible.  But today... Well... It's a new day.

I made pancakes this morning: pumpkin walnut.  And they were delicious.  One serving (4 small pancakes) packed 390 calories and the 1/8 cup of maple syrup (although there was plenty left on my plate because I'm not a huge syrup eater) added another 100 calories, so 490, minus a few for not eating all the syrup.  Then, 5 hours later, I had lunch, a HC frozen meal (delicious, I tell you!) for 220 calories and, to satisfy that nagging sweet tooth, a SF bar that, I swear, reminds me of a Butterfinger candybar, just in a much smaller version!  And, best of all, it's only 100 calories.  And a diet cherry Dr Pepper.  So, my breakdown for today looks like:
Breakfast: 490 calories
Lunch: 320 calories

Since I've been trying to keep my caloric intake around 1500, that gives me about 690 calories for the rest of the day.  One of the lower calorie dinners and a snack, and that pretty much finishes me off!  But, that's okay.  This is a journey.  And a process.  And I've got a lot- A LOT- to learn.

And now.. to step on the scale for my daily weigh in... Ugh...

Updated at 9:54pm: In good news, my scale read the same thing yesterday's read, which was 234.5.  In bad news, we went to Elevation Burger around 4pm.  I absolutely love EB and, while I tried to do good, I still packed in a burger and fries.   I'm estimated about 550 calories for the burger and the fries (thank you, olive oil) at 200.  It may be under estimating, but I'm thinking about 750 (easy) for dinner (I had a Coke Zero, so that helped, I suppose).  That takes me over 1500, but what really does it is the fact that I just ate a second dinner because I was hungry!  I had a HC frozen meal for 260c plus a WW dessert cake for 80c.  Funtimes.

Oh, yeah, and my waist measures 41 inches and my hips 51 inches.  How did I ever let myself get this fat?

Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday, Oct 8th

SF Shake: 200c
Tuna salad on english muffin and 8oz unsweetened iced tea: 275c
WW snackcake: 80c
Edit@3:55pm- Snack Pack: 100c
Edit@6:29- Milkshake made with sugar-free butter pecan ice cream, approx 600 calories

Took the kids on a walk to the supermarket and back: 140 calories burned

Okay, so I totally bombed today.  Feeling slightly depressed about it.  I havent even had dinner and, already, I've had 1255 calories.  If I add a regular dinner of 600 or so calories to that, I'm looking at over 1800 calories- EEK!  And I'd been so good!  I'm bummed :(


But, in good news, I stepped on the scale and it read 234.5 this morning.  While it will probably be higher tomorrow because of my ice cream slip up, it was nice for today. 


Edited@7:17pm: Peter encouraged me to go for a bike ride to lift my spirits- and it totally worked!  Half an hour at 10mph (so, roughly, a 5 mile ride) burned 300 calories!  I'm happy with that!  


Dinner: White Clam Pasta and Garlic Bread: 600c

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Still Here... & Good!

SlimFast Shake: 200 calories
Healthy Choice meal: 260 calories, Diet Dr. Pepper: 0 calories
Chocolate Drizzle Mini Delights pack: 90 calories
SlimFast Bar: 100 calories
Edit@9:46pm:
took kids on 1mile walk
Ran 3miles and, prior, ate a Cliff Bar (250c) and afterwards drank Gaterade (45c)
Dinner: Shrimp & Lobster Ravioloi with steamed asparagus & garlic bread (670c)
total calories: 1650
total burned 150 walking and 350 running

Not sure about dinner, but I'm also planning on running tonight!  Feeling pretty good!  (And it helped that a friend I hadnt seen in a while told me how great I looked!)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Another in the Win Column

So... in addition to 6 glasses of water (so far)...

Shake: 200 calories
Stale baby corn snacks (I know...  Don't say it...): 25 calories
Healthy Choice Steamer: 260 calories (and it was yummy!)
Snack Pack (choc covered pretzels): 100 calories
Diet Dr Pepper: 0 calories
Edit@8:10pm: 4 more glasses of water and homemade enchiladas with salad (770 calories)
Total calories: 1355

And, last night, I opted for the healthy choice and got the Veggie Medley from the Thai place instead of the more caloric curry.

Of course, tonight, I'm making enchiladas, so... a lot of calories there.  But I'm at less than 600 for the day before that!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Still Doing Okay...

Breakfast: Slim Fast Shake (200c)
Snack: Tuna Fish with 1tbsp mayo, minced onion, celery seed (150c)
Lunch: Slim Fast Shake (200c)
Snack: Coffee with 3tbsp coconut milk creamer and 1tsp splenda  (64c)
Updated@5:21pm: Snack: Cliff Chocolate Chip Bar (OMG-delicious!) (240c)
Updated@10:57pm: Dinner: Thai Vegetable Medley with a light brown sauce over rice (estimated 350c) and lemongrass soup (estimated 200c)
Total Calories for the day:  1404


I'll consider this a win in my column!!!


I just talked to Peter and he talked about grabbing Thai food for dinner.  I LOVE THAI FOOD.  If I get my traditional lemongrass soup (200 calories) and Massaman curry (about 400 calories at least) over rice (about 200 calories), I'm going to have nearly 1000 calories with dinner.  Since I had hoped to keep about 1800 for the day, that isn't going to work out so well!  Do I splurge and have the meal I love?  Or do I go with something, perhaps, a little less caloric...

I Want a Donut

There are donuts in the cabinet and I want one so badly.  The kids are upset because Peter isnt here (he will spend today and tomorrow in NJ at work meetings) and I am so tired because I fell asleep in the recliner downstairs and didnt get a good night's sleep.  Yesterday, I ate crap all day (leftover pizza for breakfast, lunch, and snack, and then fish sticks for dinner) and I didnt have a chance to work out at all.  I feel like shit.  And I want a donut.  Because they are chocolate and they are there.  And, instead, I'm sitting at the dining room table blogging.  Because, as much as I want a donut, I dont want to give in and eat the donut.

My mother-in-law has offered to watch the kids so that I can go to the gym, but I feel like a bad mother if I take her up on it.  I know that it could really help give me the motivation to go, and would (most likely) make me a better mom because I'd be recharged, refreshed, and in a better mood.  And yet... I'm too afraid to just say "SURE!" and go.  Because I feel like I'm pawning my kids off so that I can go have some "me" time.  And that makes me feel like a bad mother.  But maybe I should say yes.  Maybe it would make a me a better mother if I werent so on edge all the time and if I worked out for my own self esteem.

I don't know... I'll talk to her.

Because I really want the chocolate donut, I just riffled through the pantry and found an unopened canister of Slim Fast "creamy chocolate" from their High Protein 3-2-1 plan.  I bought a vanilla and a chocolate a while back, and had opened the vanilla (a while back is several months ago and there's about 1/3 of the vanilla powder left).  Since I dont really eat all the time because I'm busy, I thought a shake might be an easy way to go.  But I flaked on that too.  While the chocolate is definitely a SF shake, it tastes like chocolate, and that is helping. Plus it is giving me breakfast.  I'll consider this a win-win for me.  Now, if I could just keep it up...

Since I was on their website anyway, I noticed they have an online program to log into, etc.  I was debating Weight Watchers Online, but since this one is free, I decided to register.  It asked for my weight (and, honestly, every single time I type in 238 I feel like a huge cow) and height and is now creating a plan for me to reach my ideal weight.  It pops up my life for today, and gave me options to change the food things around (in case I didnt like the selections it auto-generated).

Clicking on the food items gives you directions and ingredients for preparation.  They didnt look that difficult, and they came fully prepared with nutritional information.

It's hard for me to get too excited because I have no will power and I often flake out of going to the gym or eating well.  But this is step one.  And I know this about myself, so hopefully that will give me enough will power to try another day.

We shall see...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Battling My Bulge

Although I blog regularly at My Life After Loss, I've decided to start a new blog to document my struggle with my weight.  At this point, this blog is a private journal for me, but, perhaps in the future, I will make it a public journey.  I'm just not at a place where I can do that at present.  I need some "me time", some "alone time" in this journey.

This blog began after I wrote this post, in which I discuss seeing myself as a fat woman. It was at this point that I realized, truly, that I have a problem that needs to be addressed.

There are biological reasons for why I carry extra weight.  I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, aka PCOS, as well as Hashimoto's (autoimmune) Thyroiditis, which is a form of hypothyroidism.  Both of these disorders lead to an increase in weight and difficulty in losing weight.  However, there I am also an emotional eater and dont work out nearly as much as I should.  After dealing with infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss, as well as currently raising infant/toddler twins, my grief and stress levels are through the roof.  I used to be a decent vegetarian, however, I've now integrated meat into my diet 10% of the time.  Although it is organic and raised well, it still adds to increased cholesterol and weight gain.

Emotionally, I am at a place where the extra weight is a burden on my heart.  I also dont want my children to grow up with an unhealthy attachment to food, or viewing thinness as godliness.  I want them to know that their health is most important.  But, to know that, they need to see it.

And, right now, I am not that example.  But I want to be.  And so, it's time.

This is me today, at 238 lbs:


This is the me of 1998, when I was about 150 lbs.  While I was quite a bit younger, this is where I'd like to get close to, weight wise.

I know it will be hard.  But I have to do it.  For my family.  For me.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  Or, in this case, a single blog entry.