Tuesday, December 13, 2011


ran 1m, 15min: burned 150c

breakfast: 150c
snack: 150c
snack: 140c
lunch: 150c

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Not feeling great.  My exercise and running for Sept, Oct, and Nov havent been anything to write about. :(  I have to get back on track.  Life has just been so busy!  But that business has added 9 pounds to my body that haven't even tried to come off!  So, B-A-C-K-O-N-T-R-A-C-K...  Chant it, believe it, make it happen...

In good news, another 32 day cycle.  Perhaps this will be my standard?  And, I think I ovulated last night into this morning (a lot of ovulation type pain), which would mean ovulation on day 16-17 or so, which is not that far off from the textbook of day 14.  That's pretty awesome!

In 2 weeks, I will have TAC surgery in Chicago at UIC.  I'm nervous, but hopeful that this can correct what is wrong with my cervix.  While I dont plan to try and get pregnant, knowing that, if I do, I have a chance of carrying the baby to term will be a relief.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Gluten Free Gingersnaps

While I didnt initially love these (and think they need some work), Bobby and Maya disagree!! They are still chanting cookie! Slightly crumbly and delicately soft, they are lightly sweetened pieces of heaven with a cup of coffee or tea. And, weighing in at only 90 calories each, you can happily indulge (and allow the youngest taste testers in your kitchen do so as well!)

Gluten Free Gingersnaps

Mix in a bowl and set aside:
3/4 tsp Baking Powder
1/4 tsp Baking Soda
1/8 tsp salt
1 tbsp Ginger, ground
1 tsp Cinnamon, ground
1/8 tsp Cloves, ground
1 3/3 cup GF flour mixture (I make my own but you can find them commercially available)

In a large mixing bowl (or the bowl of your electric mixer), mix until fluffy:
54 grams (or 6 tablespoons) whipped butter
4oz apple sauce (snack cup size)
1/4c Brown Sugar

Add and mix well:
1 large egg
1/4 cup brown rice syrup
2 tbsp lemon juice.

Add your dry ingredients and mix until well combined.

Make 20 balls of dough and press flat in a bowl of granulated sugar (5tbsp should do the trick).
Place on a greased baking sheet and bake at 350 for 9 minutes.
Cool on baking sheet for 1 minute, then move to cooling area.

(20 cookies, 90 calories each)


weight 174
cals 2565
burned 300
net 2265

weight 174
cals 6000
burned 200
net 5800

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


weight: 175
total calories: 2050
burned: 630
net calories: 1420

Monday, October 24, 2011


Weight: 171
Total Calories:2655
Calories Burned:635
Net Calories:2020

Weight: 172.5
Total Calories: 2840
Calories Burned:100
Net Calories:2740

10/22 & 10/23
Total Calories: 3000 (each day)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


weight: 172
total calories:2575c
total burned: 625c
net calories: 1950c

weight: 171.5
total calories: 2220
total burned: 500
net calories:1720

weight: 172
total calories: 3500c
total burned: 0
net calories:3500c

Monday, October 17, 2011

What I'm Eating Today... (MLAL)

(Originally posted here)

Today has found me sifting through old Yoga Journal magazines that a friend of mine brought me after they'd been discarded from the library. Good stuff... But what's even better than reading up on yogic philosophy? The Vegan Chocolate Bundt Cake found on page 37 of the December 2009 edition. The cake was adapted from Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero (which I'm now going to have to buy) and, in addition to being fun to make with a lot of things I had lying around, it is FREAKING DELICIOUS! I cut it into small slices (24 per cake) and they come in at around 135 calories per piece. Yummy Yummy Yummy!!! This may very well be my new "standard" chocolate cake recipe!

Vegan Chocolate Bundt Cake (24 svgs=135c each)
1.75c freshly brewed coffee
2/3c Dutch cocoa
1.5c granulated sugar
1/3c oil (I used corn)
1/3c applesauce (I used a 4oz snack cup of unsweetened)
.25c cornstarch
2tsp vanilla extract & 1tsp almond extract (I used 1tbsp vanilla)
2c whole wheat or white A.P. flour (I used 1c each of WW and white)
1tsp baking soda
1.5tsp baking powder
.5tsp salt
2tsp confectioners sugar

Preheat oven to 325 and grease a bundt pan.
Melt the chocolate into the hot coffee and whisk to combine well.
Whisk together the sugar, oil, applesauce, cornstarch, and vanilla (or vanilla/almond). When combined well, add the chocolate coffee and whisk well to combine.
(This is where my recipe will differ from the original). Mix together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add the wet ingredients and blend on medium low until well combined, about 2 minutes.
Pour the mixture into the prepared pan and bake for 45-55min. (I cooked for 55min.)
Cool for 20min in the pan, then flip and sprinkle the powdered sugar over the top.
If you can wait to eat it, great. If not, slice a piece and eat that bad boy while it is still warm!!!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Taking Stock

Try as I might, I'm struggling to blog here with my days.  Part of it is time, part of it is laziness!  But I need to be held accountable and I've found an inbetween I think.  I've been keeping my food journal with a memo book and pen,and I'm going to try and update here with that information regularly.  I'm still 'on the journey', just taking the longer way around this time, it seems! :)


weight: 175.5
total calories: 2400c
total burned: 300c (running)
net calories: 2100c

weight: 174.5
total calories: 2145c
total burned: 300c (running)
net calories: 1845c

weight: 173
total calories: 2030c
total burned: 200c (running)
net calories: 1830c

weight: 172
total calories: 2725c
total burned:  300c (running)
net calories: 2425c

weight: 172.5
total calories: 2570c
total burned: 775c (elliptical, yoga)
net calories: 1795c

weight: 171.5
total calories: 2555c
total burned:  100c (yoga)
net calories:  2455c

weight: 173
total calories: 2460c
total burned: 550c
net calories:1910c

Friday, September 30, 2011

Half Maraton Update

I'm the only one who comes back from a half marathon having gained 6 pounds!  I could blame the delicious food from my parents or the HMs cookie tent (AWESOME idea!), but the truth is I didnt pay the slightest bit of attention to portion control.  I dont regret it, but bummer nonetheless!

As of today, 172.5 (down from 175 when I returned).

The Half Marathon Story: And, I did it in 2 hours 14 minutes!  Ran the whole thing!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thursday, 9/15/11

Wow.  I really suck at logging food these days!

Breakfast: 200c
Lunch: 600c

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tuesday, 9/13/11

weight: 171

breakfast: 200c
lunch: 350c

2m run

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Week in Review, 9/5-9/11

Starting Weight: 173.5 (9/4/11)
Ending Weight: 170.5 (9/12/11)
Comments: Yay!

Exercise: I ran on 3 of 7 days.
Comments:  Long run on Sunday: 13.3m!

Thoughts:  I'm really thrilled I lost anything considering I'm around 2000 calories per day AND had the kids BDay party to contend with!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Friday, Sept 9, 2011

weight: 171

breakfast: drinkable yogurt=150c
lunch: Japanese food=est 800c
snack: vegan PB choc bar=400c

ran 4m in the a.m.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thursday, 9/8/11

weight: 172.5

breakfast: coffee & drinkable yogurt=175c
snack: cheese and crackers=190c
lunch: @ Molly Maguire's Pub- field salad with shrimp and Guinness=est 800c
snack: smoothie and graham crackers=450c
dinner: salad, garlic bread, lasagna=750c
dessert: 2 mini cupcakes=300c

total: 2665c

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wednesday, 9/7/11

breakfast: coffee and apple=100c
snack: almond crackers=130c
lunch: turkey wrap, popcorn, and brownie=450c
snack: drinkable Greek yogurt and apple=250c
snack: milkshake=400c
dinner: roll, meatloaf, yam fries, coleslaw, Guinness=est 1200c

ran 2.68m


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tuesday, 9/6/11

breakfast: coffee and apple=100c
snack: granola bar=90c
lunch: soup, crackers w/ cheese, 2 cookies= 480c
snack: turkey wrap=250c
snack: crackers and milkshake=300c
dinner: Thai peanut pasta with carrots, green peppers, and Quorn pieces=645

Total: 1865

Monday, 9/5/11

weight: 173.5
breakfast: coffee and cereal=150c
lunch: salmon wrap and brownie=700c
snack: salmon salad on crackers=250c
dinner: roasted chicken with  veggies and stuffing, onion & garlic rolls, salad, cake=1500c


Monday, September 5, 2011

The Week In Review, 9/1-9/4

The new layout for the week in review is slightly different.  Because my food journaling will be more lenient, the WIR summary is also a bit more lenient.

Starting Weight: 173.5 (9/1/11)
Ending Weight: 173.5 (9/4/11)
Comments: I'm lucky I dont weigh several pounds more with the crap I've eaten over the last 24 hours.  I'm so angry at myself.  It really just pulls at my gut that I lost my control so much over the weekend.  But, today is a new day.  And I know that, deep down, I am stronger than my demons. 

Exercise: I ran on 2 of 4 days. 
Comments:  This week sucked for running.  After a great run last weekend, I blew it off this week, except for one 2 mile run, and then attempted a long 14 miler.  I made it through 11 miles and only with several walk breaks.  The positive was that I ran up and over and back Spring Mount (ran the entire thing) but that was the highlight of a rather blah run.  Only I would consider an 11 mile outting a failure. :(

Thoughts:  This was one of those weekends where my hidden demons came to the surface and it really hit me how much of a lifelong struggle this will be.  I was watching TV with a friend and we ate cereal, from the box, as a snack.  I have no idea how much I consumed.  Then, the next day, because I had a bad run (seriously, 11 miles is never bad, but whatever) I polished off a bag of rice chips and God only knows how many servings of jelly beans.  It wasnt pretty.  I'm surprised I didnt gain 10 pounds in one night.  The worst part was that I knew it wasnt helping- neither health wise nor by making me feel better- and yet, I just kept going. Not my finest moment.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sat. 9/3 & Sun. 9/4

weight: 171
breakfast: coffee=25c
lunch: wrap, chips, and brownie=600c
snack: cheese and crackers=200c
dinner: pizza=500c
snack: half a box of cereal (dont ask) and granola bar=900c

Total: 2225

This day was so bad that I dont even know what I ate.  I had a crappy run and then just kept eating...and eating... and eating.  It doesnt help that I'm on my period, but let's just say, it was a really REALLY bad eating day.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday, 9/2

weight: 171

ran 2 miles in the morning

breakfast: coffee and cereal=150c
lunch: soup and crackers w/cheese=370c
snack: coffee, cheese and crackers=225c
snack: fruit smoothie=250c
snack: jelly beans=140c
dinner: cornbread, baked beans, rice, BBQ Quorn cutlet, watermelon, pie= 1155c
snack: cookies and milk=500c

Total: 2790c

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Thursday, 9/1

Here I am!  Back on the journey to finish off the rest of my weight loss goals!

Weight: 173.5
(I'm sure this wasnt helped by me eating the better part of some olive oil and sea salt almonds during the football game last night!)

Breakfast: cereal with almond milk, coffee with half and half= 150c
Lunch: mediterranean wrap with popcorn and Coke Zero=400c
Snack: yogurt, cookie, watermelon=225c
Snack: chips & salsa, gluten free crackers & hummus=(est)400c
Dinner: stuffed squash, salad w/ ranch dressing, wine, cornbread, watermelon, sweet potato pie=(est)1300

Total: 2475c

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Unplugged: August

For the month of August, my weight was between 170-174 pounds. I havent been watching calories and know that I routinely ate 2000 or more.  I'm disappointed to say that being so busy hasn't helped and my running is down to 2-3 times a week (and I'm still in training for the half, so that isnt good!) and I've found myself sneaking in the kitchen at night to eat when bored, eat when watching TV, or eat when I'm doing work for my certifications.  Not good.  My clothes still fit well, I still feel decent, but mentally, I feel like I'm slipping back into my old ways and I dont like that.

Aug 2011, at the Tea House for a British Tea Time

I had planned on getting back to my counting and exercise logging in September to start what I'm calling "part 2" of my journey.  Everyone has those last 10-20 pounds they want to lose and, from what I've heard, people who lose a substantial amount of weight tend to get really hung up on the "final fifteen".  So, I thought it would be interesting to see how I fare.  The weight loss tends to be much slower (which makes sense since the proportion of total weight is less).  I also want to do it (gulp) without the gym.  It will be be and what I have at my disposal at home.  So... We'll see how that works, especially with winter just around the corner!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Unplugged: July

For the month of July, my weight was between 168-172 pounds.  I havent been watching calories and know that I routinely ate 2000 or more.  Although I maintain fairly constant in portion control, I have been eating more "gourmet" type foods which mean way more calories!  But, I'm having a good summer and am enjoying myself.

This month, battling 2 sick toddlers, a sick husband, and a not-altogether well self, I ended up only running about 3-4 days a week (2-3 short, sometimes 1 medium, and my long run).  Strength training took a back seat :(  But, August is a new month, so I plan to get back to my old ways.

I got pictures back from the wedding I was in in September that totally changed my perspective of how I looked.  I hung them on my wall over my desk.  Looking at them now, I still cant believe that I was that person...  I dont recognize myself.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Unplugged: June

For the month of June, I was pretty much unplugged.  And my waist line is still okay!!

I hover between 165-175, with 170ish the norm.  I run 5-7 mornings a week, with one super long run on Sundays.  I strength train on Tuesday and Thursday mornings (I run 2 miles to the gym, ST for 30-40 minutes, then run home), and I do yoga on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings after my run (anywhere from 2 miles to 5 miles).  Saturday, I usually do a short 2.5 mile run.  Sometimes I take Monday as a rest day if my run on Sunday was especially tough. 

I dont write down what I eat anymore, although I do (loosely) keep up with calories per day on the whiteboard in the kitchen.  Some days, I eat more than I should, but for the most part, I'm really happy with myself.  I'm in a maintenance phase because that's where I felt I should be right now, even though I'd still like to hit 150 at some point.

I plan on being "unplugged" all summer (at least) and doing a monthly "unplugged" post to update what's going on.

In my personal life, we were in the process of adopting a baby.  He was born at the end of June and we found out on July 1st that the birthmother was changing her mind and keeping the baby.  As you can imagine, this has been tough and unplugging from my computer has been a helpful way to focus on Bobby and Maya, as well as my marriage and Peter.   I will be back to blogging at some point but, for now, not writing daily is the place I need to be.  Thank you for all of your emails and your support.  Your care is amazing and I feel utterly blessed.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tasty Tuesday: Caramelized Onion Rolls

Caramelized Onion Rolls
(this recipe can also be used to make a boule bread)

1/8c butter
1 sweet onion, chopped
1c water
1tbsp honey
2c bread flour
3/4tsp salt
1/4tsp black pepper
3/4tsp dry yeast

Place the water and honey in the bread machine, then sprinkle the flour on top.  In one corner, place the pepper; in the alternate corner, the salt.  Make a small indentation in the center and place the yeast.

Set the breadmaker on the dough setting and press start.

While the dough is kneading, melt the butter and saute the onions over low heat until golden.  Remove from heat.

During the last 5 minutes of the bread kneading cycle, scrape the pan into the breadmaker and let the onions get kneaded in.  Remove the bread and hand knead for 5 minutes.

Cut the dough into 12 even pieces and form into rolls. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise for 45 minutes.

Slash a cross in the top of each roll and bake for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.

Freeze any leftovers and heat up, for 12-15 minutes, at 350.

12 rolls=110c each

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tasty Tuesday: Chocolate-Hazelnut Cookies

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

4oz snack cup (111g) unsweetened applesauce
1/2c splenda
1/2c brown sugar
1 egg
1/2c Nutella (chocolate-hazelnut spread)
1/2tsp salt
1/2tsp baking soda
1/2tsp vanilla
1/2c plus 1/8c all purpose flour
1/4c plus 1/8c whole wheat flour

Mix all the ingredients together.  Using a tablespoon, spoon out egg shaped dollops onto a cookie sheet sprayed with no-cal spray.  Bake at 325 degrees for 9 minutes.  

I know it is hard, but let them cool for 1 minute before devouring them.  Really... They are worth it.  They are thinner cookies and are a pain to get off the cookie sheet, but it doesnt matter.  They are out of this world!!  Really... They are that good.

Makes 36 cookies/ 50c per cookie

Monday, June 6, 2011

Bad Connection

Something is wrong my my laptop, so connections to the Internet are spotty. I will update things as soon as I can log in for more than a second at a time!
(However, I have seen 165 on the scale!!!!)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tasty Tuesday: Simple Strawberry Smoothie

140g frozen strawberries (about 1 1/4c)
1 5.5oz container of Greek yogurt (strawberry)
3/4c almond milk
1/2c water (or more to taste)

Toss it all in a blender and blend on high until drinkable.  Delicious and easy!!!

1 smoothie=240c

Sunday, May 29, 2011


weight: 170c

breakfast: cereal=270c
post run: cheribundi=90c
lunch: wrap (60c) with tabouli (85c), feta (40c), hummus (50c), and sundried tomatoes (50c)=285c
snack: Greek wrap=225c
dinner: feta platter (200c), lamb chops (250c), roasted veggies (50c), tabouli (250c), salad (150c), fruit salad (150c), pavlova (300c), sangria (200c)=1550c

Total: 2420c
Net: 1725c

50 minute/4.5 mile run (5.7mph pace): burned 545 calories
(walked 0.18m (3min), ran 4.1m (43min), walk .23m (4m))
45 minute walk with the kids, burned 150 calories

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Tasty Tuesday (Saturday Edition): Gluten Free Dried Fruit Muffins

THESE COULD NOT WAIT FOR TUESDAY.   Yep, they are that good.

*** For this recipe, I make a dozen regular dried fruit muffins and then, for the other 7 muffins, I toss in 48g of chocolate chunk pieces (240c total), which makes "Gluten Free Dried Fruit & Chocolate Chunk Muffins"***

300g homemade whole grain gluten free flour mix (see below)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
100g Splenda brown sugar mixture (or 50g brown sugar and 50g Splenda)
50g melted salted butter
50g mashed banana
80g buckwheat (or other favorite) honey
250g buttermilk (or 250g whole milk plus 1tbsp lemon juice, mixed together and left to stand for 5 minutes)
2 eggs
50g unsweetened almond milk
20g dried blueberries
20g dried pomegranate seeds
20g dried cranberries
28g sliced almonds

homemade whole grain gluten free flour
-50g coconut flour
-50g hazelnut flour
-100g white, stoneground cornmeal
-150g teff flour
-150g white rice flour
Mix togther and use as a whole grain flour mixture

Mix the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and sugar together.  In another bowl, add the butter, banana, eggs, honey and milks.  Mix the wet ingredients into the dry, then stir in the dried fruit.  Fill muffin tins 3/4 way full (they dont rise a lot) and cook at 350 for 23-25 minutes.

(I make my first batch, then add the 48g of chocolate chunk pieces into the remaining batter and make those on round 2.)

Makes 19 muffins:
195c per muffin/ 230c per chocolate chunk muffin

(a shout out to the Gluten Free Girl, for her basic GF muffin assistance)


weight: 170c

breakfast: homemade GF dried fruit muffin (195c) and dried fruit & choc chunk muffin (230c)=425c
pre-dinner snack: veggies, dip, and tortilla chips, 12oz red wine (270c)=620c
dinner: 3 chicken wings (500c), salad (150c), grilled veggies (150c), veggie potpie topped with potatoes (300c)=1100c
dessert: 3 GF choc choc-chip cookies (180c) with fresh fruit (90c) and freshly whipped cream (100c)=370c

Total: 2515c
Net: 2275c

took walk with kids to downtown, burned 140c
took evening walk with kids, burned 100c

Friday, May 27, 2011


weight: 170.5

breakfast: cereal=185c
lunch: soup=160c
2nd lunch: tuna (125c) and crackers & cheese (260c)=385c
Happy Hour=est. 400c
dinner: shrimp (120c), pasta salad (200c), veggies (80c), corn on the cob (200c), slice of cake (400c)=1000c

Total: 2130c
Net: 1990c

Took walk with kids, burned 140c

Thursday, May 26, 2011


weight: 171
(dinner at Peter's parents is never great for my waistline but oh is so yummy!)

breafast: cereal=240c
lunch: 1c spanish rice (400c), 6 cookies (690c)=1090c
I KNOW!!! I'm the epitome of healthy today.  Damn my period and damn eating out of boredom.
snack:  You thought it couldnt get worse?  Yeah, well...  10 more cookies throughout the afternoon...=1115c
dinner: @ Subway (est: 350c), shared kids size of ice cream with Bobby and Maya (est: 300c)=650c

Total: 3095c
Net: 2795c

took 2 walks with kids, burned 300c total

BAD DAY.... Like really... Ugh :(

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


weight: 170
breakfast: cereal (240c), coffee (25c)=265c
snack: caramel light frappacino=140c
lunch: soup (160c), tuna wrap (175c)=335c
snack: whole wheat choc chunk cookie=115c
dinner: bread (240c), meatloaf (700c), mashed potatoes (100c), peas (60c), baked beans (100c), 2 cookies (230c)=1430

total: 2285c

walked to starbucks and home: burned 120c
pushed stroller around neighborhood, burned Xc

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


weight: 170

breakfast: cereal=295c
snack: 2 hershey kisses=50c
lunch: HC meal (250c), skinny cow bar (100c)=350c
snack: rice cakes (260c) and cream cheese (120c)=380c
snack: Gr yogurt=110c
dinner: D's 9th birthday party: homemade pizza, salad, corn, and rice crispie treat cake=est. 1000c
snack: spanish rice (100c), cookie (100c)=200c

Total: 2385


Tasty Tuesday: Apple Pork Loin

This is such a quick and easy dish!  Simply toss the ingredients in the crock pot and serve a dinner that sends your tastebuds into happy overload!

0.67 pound unseasoned pork tenderloin
246g apple chunks, with peel (the edible portion of 2 medium apples)
248g pear chunks, with peel (the edible portion of 1 large pear)
544g yam chunks, with peel (about 1 large yam)
1c apple juice
1c water
1/3 c (111g) unsweetened apple sauce
4 bay leaves
1tbsp rosemary

Put the pork in the bottom of your crock pot.   Add the apple, pear, and yam chunks.  Pour over the applesauce, apple juice, and water.  Stir.  Add the seasonings.  Cook on high for 4 hours, then warm until serving time.

4 servings: 375c each serving

Monday, May 23, 2011


weight: 169.5
breakfast: cereal (150c), coffee (25c)=175c
snack: wrap (60c) with chicken (50c), swiss (70c), mustard (10c), and kale (30c)=220c
lunch: leftover eggplant parm (300c) with kale (100c), 2 lemon ginger cookies (120c)=520c
snack: skinny cow bar=100c
snack: 2 lemon ginger cookies (120c), coffee (25c)=145c
snack: wrap (60c) with chicken (50c), swiss (70c), mustard (10c), and kale (30c)=220c
snack: crackers with cheese (65c), kale (40c)=105c
dinner: cereal=305*
*starting to feel sick, in addition to the period issues of cramping, backache, and headache...  just not in the mood for dinner but realized that I needed to eat something before working out
Total: 1790c
Net: 1605c

prePT warmup on treadmill, burned 85c, and PT with trainer, 60 minutes, burned 100c: total burned 185c

The Week in Review, 5/16-5/22

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 171.5 lbs
As of this morning, the scale reading: 169.5  lbs
Total Weight Lost: 2 lbs
This is better than last week.

Exercise Goal: 4x/wk

Actual Exercise: 5x
This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1700 calories per day.
My best day logged 1635 calories and my worst day logged 2375 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 1857 total calories
This is better than last week.

On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success, this week is a 9.  I have found a place where I am comfortable in my skin and have accepted that, living a healthy lifestyle, my body will find its happy place.  That weight may be 170.  It may be 150.  It may be somewhere in-between.  And I'm okay with that.  The important thing is to continue living healthily, and to let the chips (and the numbers on the scale) fall where they may. 

And I'm thrilled to be making time to exercise, even if it is shorter that in the past.  For a week, I wasnt able to do so and it showed on me emotionally.  The me time, be it half an hour or 2 hours, is something that I need to recharge and refresh, and be the best wife/mother/woman I can be.

Sunday, May 22, 2011


World didnt end... I'm still here, weighing myself, and on cloud nine after a GREAT 5K and a fun day with my sweet niece who was recently Confirmed!!

weight: 170c

breakfast: cereal (150), coffee (50)=200c
lunch: wrap (165c), fruit salad (140c) over greek yogurt (60c)=365c
snack: shared a smoothie with Peter and kids=150c
dinner: eggplant parm (300c), kale (100c), slice of bread (100c), corn on the cob (100c)with butter (75c)=675c
dessert: zabligone with pound cake (135c), mixed fruit (75c), custard (100c), and greek yogurt (60c)=370c
Total: 1760c
Net: 1205c

ran 4.8m with 42min of running/18min walking warm up and cool down, burned 435
pushed stroller to downtown and back, burned 140c
total burned: 575

Saturday, May 21, 2011


Getting ready to leave for a 5K!


breakfast: cereal=150c
postrace snack: banana=75c
lunch: high tea service=est 1000c
dinner: steamed mussels (180c), breadstick (150c), apricot chicken meal (380c), wine (90c), frozen yogurt (350c)=1150c

Total: 2375
Net: 1965

Ran 3.25m in 28:28 PR  (official time 28:31 but crossed finish line a few seconds after official start), burned 410c

Friday, May 20, 2011


weight: 170

breakfast: cereal (140c), coffee (25c)=165c
snack: breakfast bar=120c
lunch: wrap (275), chips (110c), salad (50c)=435c
snack: cereal=140c
snack: wrap with chicken and cheese=250c
dinner: crab cake (300c) with rice (100c), asparagus (50c), cornbread (150c), and salad (75c)=675c
dessert: brownie (140c) with greek yogurt (40c) and strawberries (60c)=240c

Total: 2025
ran 3.3m in 32min, burned 415c

Birthing a Premature Adult (MLAL)

originally posted here

I dont know if it is that I decided to let go of my preconceived weight notions and decided to not just accept, but be happy with, the weight that my body decides is the "right" one this time around, or if it is that having that realization brought me back to the initial mindframe of when I first began this journey into rediscovering eating. I dont know what it was. But, what I do know, is that number on the scale this morning was something amazing (to me, at least!).


I think I mentioned that I was around 165 at my wedding, which was up a good 10 pounds or so since Peter had I had met and then exchanged the vows that changed our lives forever less than 2 years before that September soiree. Peter was probably around 145-155 (and a little on the too-thin side for his 6'2 frame... Not that he wasn't eating, but his I'm-in-my-30s metabolism wouldn't kick in for another decade or so when he hit his thirties!). These days, Peter weighs well for his frame (I'd put him 160-175 as a happy place, since although he's tall, he's got a slight build and he's usually within the 165-170 range when he steps on the scale), and we all know that my weight wasn't quite healthy this last decade (okay, it was downright unhealthy... let's be honest). At his physical last week (with clothes, to be fair), to doctor wrote his weight as... wait for it... 169!!

So, sortofkindof, Peter and I weigh aroundsortofkindof the same. This hasn't been true for, if I'm honest...ever. By the time he put on weight to get to his happy body place, I had far surpassed him and then some... and then kept going. Not that he cared; if there is one thing I can say, I truly dont think that my heaviness bothered him. I think the fact that he was concerned about my health bothered him (alot) and that the fact that I loathed myself bothered him (even more), but the fact that he was thin and I was, well, fat... I dont think he ever gave a second thought to it. Which makes me love him all the more.

But, back to the other... The same... (or at least close enough!)... This was one of my milestones. We'd agreed to 170 as the "Weighs the Same As Peter" milestone, which, in keeping with my gift to myself, should be a dinner date! (Because, really, isnt it uber healthy to reward yourself with food??? I know... I know... Judge not!) We're going out in a month for our date, but maybe we can fit in something before. Maybe with the kids too. I love going out as a family. A date, just us, is really nice and special. But, seeing the kids explore new foods and enjoy a new surrounding is... extra nice and special. And I'll get Peter to myself on June 17th/18th. I'd rather have this milestone date with Bobby & Maya in tow :)

But, again, I digress... The same... 169. It's pretty exciting for me to see a "16X" on the scale. Right now, I am ten tiny pounds away from the N word: normal. At 159, my BMI drops from the "overweight" category into the "normal" category. Every pound from 169 down is a pound closer to being, BMI wise, normal. That hasn't been the case in a VERY long time. And, in addition, it's a step towards something new: Peter weighing more than me! And, at 6'2, he should weigh more than his 5'7 wife, even taking into account his slight build and my "large frame"!

What makes this so...interesting... and, even fun, is that there was no dieting done. There wasn't a book to follow or a way to fail or being on this diet or "no, I cant eat that" or "Sorry, no pie for me, I'm on a diet". There was eating responsibily and a very large learning curve. There was the healing of some emotional eating scars, and the acceptance of the ones that wont heal. There was the knowledge that you dont "cure" this, but you sure as hell can fight the war and come out ahead.

When I started, I wanted to become a healthier role model and drop 90 pounds. I wanted to stop having a near addictive dependency on food. I wanted to stop eating when I wasn't hungry- heck, I wanted to know that I was hungry and be able to feel when I was full. Now, I'm sitting in the kitchen, and other than my iced tea, there's no food around me. I can look around and see a well stocked pantry and fridge, but I'm not hungry and, therefore, the temptation isnt there. Within arms reach is the candy dish, stocked with chocolate and all sorts of goodies. But, I'm not reaching... Because I'm not hungry.

Sometimes I am, and sometimes I have one (or two). Sometimes, I feel that nawwing sense of inferiority/sadness/takeyourpickoftheemotion and the food calls to me and promises to help, and I waver and give in and take more than two (or 10). It happens. I know it will. It doesnt help, though... the extra eating. It might feel good for a moment (although, I've started seeing that it doesnt feel good... it might feel numb for a moment is probably a better phrase).

What does help? Knowing that I can eat whatever I want. Knowing that there's not a diet going on that I can fail on. Knowing that I made mashed potatoes and collard greens and corn rolls and homemade BBQ ribs for dinner last night and that I had a helping of each plus a small salad and small fruit salad AND a piece of lemon cake that I made. And it was great. And there was no guilt or overeating. There was simply "eating"; actually, there was "eating dinner with my family." It's sitting down at the table with the kids during the day and having breakfast, lunch, and second lunch, and knowing that they are seeing a good example of a good relationship with food and that that is what they are mimicing. It's having snacks with them throughout the day, and realizing that I dont need a bag of chips or a handful of candy; no one needs that.

It's not about depravation; it's about responsibility. And learning that has made a huge difference in my life.

I wanted to change, and I have. I still am. I may look in the mirror and still see the woman I was a year ago, but I know I'm not her. I had said once that it was in the eyes... That there was something about me that changed after my children died and that, if you looked closely, you'd see it in my eyes. There's something else there too, now. There's still the pain and the sorrow that wasn't there before 2007... But there's a hope that was born with Bobby and Maya, and there's an understanding that was born with me. I thought it might take me 9 months or so to lose 90 pounds and that I could have some great little "9 months to grow a new person" post. But, it seems like, with most things "new person" related, I'm premature and 7 months is the longest I have in me.

It wasn't about the weight. I thought it was, but it wasn't. That was just a deeper symptom of me and how dead a part of me was. There will be a part of me- 3 parts of me- trapped in different parts of 2008 forever. And that's okay; it's part of who I am. There are parts of me trapped at other times too... And, I'm okay with that; it's part of the life story that I can accept about myself. But I let something so base-eating- control some of the best parts of my life. Rather than deal with my feelings or try to accept myself and love myself for who I was at the time, I tried to bury that woman away. It's a shame.

Even though I may be a "premature" person at only 7 months into this journey... Even though I may need life support at times in the way of friends and family to help me through hard days... Even though I may struggle with developmental delays as it relates to relating to food... I'm a new person. I know it. And that, I can see. It's in the eyes. (and, in some ways, in the waistline, too).

Thursday, May 19, 2011


weight: 169
(YAY!!! I broke through the 170 plateau!!!)

breakfast: cereal (130c) and coffee (50c)=180c
snack: granola with PB (80c) and dark chocolate (90c)=170c
lunch: soup (140c), crackers (130c)=270c
2nd lunch: wrap (60c) with turkey (45c), soft cheese (35c), lettuce, tomato, & carrots (20c) and baked Doritos (90c), pudding (60c)=310c
dinner: veggie korma (230c), brown basmati rice (250c), 2 mozz-corn nuggets (100c)=580c
dessert: lemon cake (125c) and tea=125c

Total: 1635

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


weight: 170

breakfast: cereal & fruit (150c), coffee (25c)=175c
snack: pretzels=110c
lunch: wrap (60c) with turkey (45c) and cheese (70c), mayo (25c), lettuce (5c), tomato (15c), and carrots (10c), chips (120), choc granola (80c)=430
snack: choc fudge icecream bar=100c
snack: clam chowder (220c), crackers (130c)=350c
dinner: BBQ ribs (160c), collard greens (30c), mashed, skin-on potatoes (130c) salad (50c), fruit salad (50c), corn muffin (170c), lemon cake (125c)=715c

Total: 1705c
Net: 1315c
ran 3.3m in 33 minutes, burned 390c

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


weight: 170.5

breakfast: oatmeal (280c), coffee (25c)=305c
lunch: HC meal=250c
2nd lunch: turkey & provolone wrap (200c) and rice cakes (130c)=330c
snack: rice cakes=90c
snack: soy joy bar=130c
dinner: veggie chana masala (310), coconut shrimp (185c), cantaloupe (55c), salad (45c)=595c

total: 1700
net: 1600

30 minute walk after dinner

Tasty Tuesday: Simple Strawberry-Mango Shake

190g frozen strawberries (about 1.5 cups)
4oz Bothouse Farms Protein Plus Mango (1/2 cup)
6oz unsweetened almond milk  (3/4 cup)
enough water to make it as drinkable as you'd like (I prefer 3/4 cup)

Put the strawberries in the blender and pour over the mango smoothie and almond milk.  Blend and add water as needed to make the mixture drinkable.


225 calories per serving (recipe makes 1 serving)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Finding My Happy Place

A friend of mine, in the beginning of this journey, told me to not be surprised when the weight loss slowed.  The heavier you are, the easier the initial loss is, but then it gets harder as you get closer to where your body wants to be.  At around 200 pounds, I slowed... Then again, around 180.  And now, around 170, I'm finding that I'm slowing down.  Is this my body finding its happy place?  Or is it the result of me finding my lazy place?  I'm not sure.

But it begs the question: how will I cope if my body's happy place is not the mental place I've set for myself?
159 is my BMI cutoff for a healthy weight.  Given the BMI doesnt take into effect the muscle-to-fat ratios or your activity level; there are people with "healthy" BMIs who are anything but healthy.  But it is one measure, and was a measure that I was looking forward to having on my side.  At my required adoption physical, the PA listed me as "healthy weight".  That was a shock.  I mean, I weighed in (clothed) at 172- 13 pounds over "healthy", in the "overweight" range.  She smiled and told me that it wasn't just about the BMI, there were more things to consider and that I was, for all purposes, at a healthy weight for my bone size, height, and muscle mass.  Wow.  Good to know... Shocking, but good to know.  I guess my little fat pooch on my belly bothers me more than everything else... My blood pressure was good (110/70) and, although my bloodwork hasnt come back yet, the assumption based on previous tests and current lifestyle is that my cholesterol will also still be good. 
My size 10 pants are loose but 2 of my 3 size 8 pants are still more snug than I'd like.  But that's okay.  A number is a number.
The dress I bought for my June 17th anniversary dinner still doesnt zip all the way.  That is NOT okay!  I like that dress!  My MIL offered to alter it... If she does, can I still feel good about wearing it?  Will I regret not dropping a few more pounds???  I dont know, but that is a mental block I need to deal with.  Otherwise, it will become my excuse for eating when I'm not hungry.
So... What if my body decides 170 or 165 or 175 is its happy place?  Will I let myself be happy there?  Will I do what I said I'd never do and try to diet a little lower?  Will I run myself ragged with exercise?
I dont think so...  I plan to continue on the path of eating within what my body needs and exercising 4-5 days a week.  If I continue to drop a few pounds, so be it.  Will I make my June 30th goal of 150 pounds?  I'm thinking not.  But I'm starting to become okay with that. I wanted to be healthy.  And I am.  I really am.  A few more pounds off the scale wont change that, and I'm really happy about knowing that.
But it doesnt mean that I wont continue, for now, to keep evaluating that with calorie intake, working out, and monitoring my emotional state of "are you hungry? yes/no?".  But, I think that I'm getting to a place where, regardless of the place on the scale, I'll be okay.

I'll be happy.

I'll be healthy.  No, wait.  I am healthy.  I am.



weight: 171.5

breakfast: cereal w/ fruit(175c) and coffee (25c)=200c
lunch: soup (160c) and cornbread (175c)=335c
snack: wrap with turkey & cheese (140c), rice cakes (140c)=280c
snack: cereal=130c
dinner: kielbasa (200c), pierogi (200c), english muffin (100c), broccoli (50c), PB cookie (140c)=690c
snack: rice cakes (130c) and cheese (35c)=165c

Total: 1800
Net: 1660c

40 minute walk with the kids, burned 140c

The Week In Review, 5/9-5/15

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 173 lbs
As of this morning, the scale reading: 171.5 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 1.5 lbs
This is better than last week.

Exercise Goal: 4x/wk

Actual Exercise: 2x

This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1700 calories per day.
My best day logged 1475 calories and my worst day logged 4700 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 2236 total calories
This is worse than last week.

On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success, this week is a draw.  I cant even rate it.  We were so busy getting stuff ready for the adoption that working out was nearly impossible.  And then the weather... Rainy... Which is supposed to be this week too :(  I love the rain, but it doesnt make for running with the kids!  Now that our paperwork is squared away, I can get back on track, but the kids are now going to bed around 9pm, which means getting to the gym will be more of a struggle.  Eating wise, things were sometimes okay, but I went way overboard at a Confirmation luncheon. 

I find the weekends kill me.  I am good during the week, but then, with the big celebrations or eating somewhere else, I kill myself.  I've got to find some sort of dealing methods for this.  I think, once I'm at the weight I want to stay at, it will be easier, but right now, since I'm still hoping to lose another 20 pounds or so, it's a struggle.

I'm also wondering if my body wants to hang out at 170ish for a while.  It's so easy to be here...  I still want 20 more pounds, but does my body?  I'm not sure.  We'll see how it goes when I get back on track with working out this week.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


weight: 172.5

breakfast: cereal (130c), coffee (25c)=155c
lunch: soup (200c), crackers (130c)=330c
snack: rice cakes (130c), cheese (70c)=200c
snack: cereal=130c
snack: ice cream=100c
dinner: fried chicken (500c), cornbread (200c), watermelon (50c), potato salad (150c), spinach (75c), salad (100c), zabligione (300c), coffee (25c)= 1400

total: 2315
net: 1910

3.3m run outing in 40 minutes total (32 running minutes):
0.2 warm up walk
2.8 run
0.3 cooldown walk
burned: 405c

Saturday, May 14, 2011


breakfast: salmon eggs bene (225c), fresh fruit salad (100c), coffee (25c)=350c
lunch: communion party=est.2000c
dinner: pasta (150c), salad (50c), garlic bread (150c)=350c
post dinner: shared crab cake, fish & chips, bread pudding, plus 1.5 Guinness and coffe=est 2000c

Est: 4700c

Friday, May 13, 2011


Weight: 170.5
Breakfast: cereal=130c
Snack: venti skinny caramel macchiato= 180c
Lunch: HC meal (270c), PB cookie (140c)=410c
Snack: PB cookie=140c
Snack: rice cakes=140c
Dinner: fried cutlet (200c), potatoes (275c), veggies (50c), PB coolie (140c)=665c
Total: 1665c


weight: 171

breakfast: cereal=260c
snack: rice cakes (130c) with cheese (35c)=165c
lunch: watermelon (40c), salad (40c), and shrimp scampi (250c), pudding (60c)=390c
Snack: wrap (60) with cheese (35) and turkey (45c)=140cSnack: rice cakes (140c), cheerios (130c)=270cDinner: subway sandwich (250c), apples (50c), pizza (250c)=550c
2 20-min walks, burned 140c
Total: 1775c
Net: 1635c

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


weight: 170.5

breakfast: cereal=130
lunch: wrap (60c) with cheese (35c), ham (50c), and veggies (30c), rice chips (130c), PB granola square (90c) dark choc granola square (80c)=475c
snack: wrap (60c) with cheese (35c) and turkey (45c)=140c
snack: crackers w/ cheese (130c) and turkey (45c), cheese (60c), watermelon (40c) =275c
dinner: creamed corn (350c), grilled bass (105c), cornbread (175c), salad (100c), grilled veggies (50c), banana pudding (300c)=1080c

Total: 2100
Net: 1630

walked 40 minutes, burned 140c
33min on elliptical, burned 330c
total burned: 470c

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


weight: 172

breakfast: cereal=130c
snack: tuna fish (125c) on wrap (60c)=185c
lunch: HC meal=250c
snack: carrots (50c) and onion dip (50c)=100c
snack: wrap (60c) with cream cheese (60c) and ham (45c)=165
snack: kids size Rita's sugar-free water ice and slenderita kids size custard: 260c


dinner: 1 wrap (60c) with 30g rice (100c), beans (75c), 100g peppers (25c) & 60g onions (25c) and 113g zucchini (20c) with 2oz steak (90c) and fajita seasoning (50c), lettuce (5c) and 50g tomato (10c), 14g cheese (50c), and 1tbsp homemade guacamole (20c) and 31g salsa (5c)=535c 

Tasty Tuesday: Cheese and Asparagus Souffle

(as originally seen here)

3/4c unsweetened almond milk
1 tbsp  unsalted butter
1 1/2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp freshly ground nutmeg
2 large egg yolks (room temp)
4 large egg whites (room temp)
1/2tsp cream of tartar
1/2c grated swiss cheese (I actually use houlihan from Hendricks Raw Dairy)
1/4c grated parmesan cheese
2c of asparagus, steamed and diced

Preheat oven to 375. Place rack on lowest level.  With no-cal "butter" spray, spray 2 8oz ramekins and place on the baking sheet.
To make the Bechamel sauce, warm the milk in one saucepan and then, in a large pan, melt the butter over medium heat.  Stir in the flour (wooden spoon) until smooth and then whisk in the warm milk.  Dont brown or scorch.  Warm until the sauce begins to thicken (3-5 minutes), stirring often.  Stir in the salt, pepper, and nutmeg, then whisk in the egg yolks, one at a time.
To make the Souffle, beat the 4 egg whites and cream of tarter in a stand mixer with the whisk attachment until they began to make forms that hold their shape.  Do not overbeat.
Combine the cheese in a bowl.  Using a rubber spatula, stir in a quarter of the beaten whites into the Bechamel.  Pour the Bechamel into the center of the whites and fold together.  With each fold, alternate and sprinkle in a handful of cheese and a handful of asparagus.  Carefully spoon the mixture evenly into the two dishes.  Put the baking sheet on the bottom rack.   
Bake 20-25 minutes (23 minutes is perfect in my oven).  They will be puffy and lightly browned.  Do not overcook; the centers should be moist and slightly runny.  Serve hot.

Makes 2 servings: 365 calories each serving

Monday, May 9, 2011


Weight: 173
Mantra: Get back on track!!!

breakfast: cereal=130c
snack: corn & mozzarella nuggets=150c
lunch: Kashi Mayan Harvest=340c
snack: wrap (60c) with cheese (60c) and turkey (50c)=170c
snack: onion roll (110c)
dinner: homemade soup (200c) and freshly baked, homemade onion roll (115c), pudding (60c)=375c


The Week in Review, 5/2-5/8

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 171.5 lbs
As of this morning, the scale reading: 173 lbs
Total Weight GAINED:  1.5 lbs
This is worse than last week.

Exercise Goal: 4x/wk

Actual Exercise: 7x over 5 days

This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1700 calories per day.
My best day logged 1825 calories and my worst day logged 2890 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 2232 total calories
This is better than last week.

On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success with no regrets, I would give this week a 5.  I think my biggest issues were nervous, emotional eating that stemmed from the adoption news we received last weekend, as well as some self-sabotage eating as a result of hitting 170.  I'm lucky that I'm only at 173!  Which, even though it's a weekly gain of 1.5 lbs, I was down to 170 and so I'm up 3 pounds, which is upsetting.  But it is of my own making.  I am stronger than the urge to eat... I am stronger than the cookie on the plate...  I can do this.  I know that.

I feel like my portions are under control for the most part, which is a good thing (let's ignore the massive cereal event of the week or the Indian buffet!), but sometimes it's the actual choices I'm making.  I give myself a pass for Mother's Day, since I told myself I'd order whatever I was in the mood for (and honestly, yesterday isn't where I made the worst food choices, so I'm happy with that!).  It was a delicious dinner, and I really enjoyed it.  Could I have split the cake with someone or taken half home?  Yes, but it was a small portion and oh-so-good, so I'm happy I indulged in that.

Other than wanting to hit 159 by my birthday (in a month) which I'm thinking most likely wont happen (and that's okay), I bought a designer size 8 dress from the consignment store (for only $12!!!) that I want to wear for our anniversary dinner on June 17th.  Right now, it goes on, but wont zip all the way.  I can wear some 8s, but the whole "designer" thing means those items I bought (2 slacks and this dress- again, total: $22!!!) are too small still.  I know that I need to drop a good 10 pounds by the 17th if I have a prayer of wearing this dress.  That's my new prize.  Focus on the goal, Michele!!!  The extra food when you arent hungry... The mindless eating... Are they worth not being able to fit in that cute special dress on your 13th anniversary dinner?  OF COURSE NOT!!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Happy Mother's Day

(and as a special gift to myself, I didnt even look at the scale!)

Brunch: shrimp (270c) and flatbread pizza (215c)=485c
PreRun Snack: rice cakes (155c) and soft cheese (80c)=235c
PostRun Snack: wrap (60c) with cream cheese (60c) and turkey (50c)=170c
Dinner: fillet mignion with roasted potatoes and spinach, 1/4 slice of salmon, 1/2 slice bread, 4 chips with hummus, 1 piece of baby bok choy, 2 glasses wine, 1 cup of chai, 1/4 choc chip cookie, 3/4 flourless chocolate cake slice with ice cream=est. 2000

Total: 2890c
Net: 2355c

Jogged for 40 minutes, burned 345c
Walked for 20 minutes, burned 170c
Total Burned: 535c

Saturday, May 7, 2011


weight: 172

breakfast: quiche (365c) and fruit salad (35c), coffee (40c)=440c
snack: rice crackers (120c) and soft cheese (40c)=160c
snack: greek yogurt=140c
lunch: wrap (60c) with soft cheese (70c), turkey (50c), lettuce tomato & carrots (35c) and rice cakes (70c)=285c
dinner: cookout food=est 1500c and a beer=150c=1650c easily

Damn!!  Another bad eating day!  But the food at the cookout was so delicious.... Ugh... I'm NOT getting on the scale tomorrow... I just dont want to know!

Total: 2675c

Friday, May 6, 2011


weight: 171
(thank you, lack of self control at the Indian buffet!!)

breakfast: cereal=130c
lunch: soup (160c) and crackers (130c), pudding (60c)=350c
snack: rice cakes (130c) and cheese (70c)=200c
snack: crackers (260c) and crab dip (140c)=400c
snack: ice cream (100c) and brownie (140c)=240c
dinner: salmon (140c) with tomato salsa (40c), pasta salad (220c), and steamed veggies (50c)=450c
postworkout snack: rice cakes (50c) with cheese (70c) and turkey (60c)=180c

Total: 1950c
Net: 1495c

3 walks: burned 210c
20min walk around town
20min walk to playground
20min walk home

20 min run/walk to gym: burned 100c
25min strength training: burned 45c
20min run/walk home: burned 100c
burned: 245c

total burned: 455c

How It Feels (MLAL)

Originally posted here

My dear sweet blogging friend, Mrs. J., asked me to post on a few questions.  This one is from my last post, where she asks "tell us how the loss of weight makes you feel, too?! As I lost weight I felt more energy, less aches and pains ('cept from lifting wts, LOL), and so on. I know that have two little active people at home doesn't exactly give you time to notice all the changes, but I am sure you would not have the energy you do right now if you were still lugging around the extra pounds."

So, I hope I can do this justice, but I'm sure I wont. :)

How it feels...  That's a crazy question because I still bitch when I'm running, even though I've left a small person behind.  All in all, I find that I can breathe easier (although I never noticed I couldnt breathe well before) and that my joints dont ache nearly as much as they used to.  Because of the DJD in my knees, I'll always have some sort of knee pain, but what I have is minuscule compared to what I used to have.  I havent had to ice or elevate, and I havent had any swelling in a long time.  

I find that I'm faster.  Initially, I couldnt run a mile in under half an hour.  That's about 2mph...  Old ladies walk faster than that.  But I was huffing through the first quarter and then dragging my ass with something you could call a walk before trying to "jog" some more.  A lot of my speed is a result of increased cardiovascular health, but I'm sure the weight has played a role, too.  Now, my PR is a mile in 9 minutes.  Which, if you are a runner, is still slow.  My average is still about 6mph or a 10 minute mile for short runs and 5mph or about 12 minute miles for long runs.  I'm happy with that.

I find that my Irish temper is slightly better.  Only slightly, though.  I still fly off the handle.  But I'm working on it.  According to a priest I saw for confession last year, he's still working on it too.  And he's 60.  So, it's a work in progress that I dont think a few pounds will help.

I'm stronger.  Last night we were setting up some furniture and I was able to help Peter in a way that I wasn't able to do so before.  

Eating less and better also has given me some mental clarity (not too much, mind you- I'm still a Gemini through and through!) and I have less migraine headaches than I did when I was heavier.

That's all I can think of for now...  Like I said, I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting!  Mind isn't that clear! 

Thursday, May 5, 2011


weight: 170.5

breakfast: cereal=130
lunch: Indian food (buffet)=est 1800
(can we say I wont be eating anything else today?  I had lunch at 11:30 and I'm still full! and it's 5pm!)
preworkout snack: rice cakes (130c) and cheese (70c)=200c

total: 2130
net: 1365

ran 3.3 miles, alternating pace between 6mph & 7mph with a sustained 7mph stretch, burned 425c
elliptical 2.7 miles, 33min, burned 340c
total burned: 765c

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


weight: 170

breakfast: cereal (190c), strawberries (50c)=240c
lunch: pita sandwich (315c), soup (140c)=455c
snack: cereal=120c
snack: rice cakes (130c) and cheese (70c)=200c
snack: dark choc covered espresso beans=100c
dinner: steak (210c), long grain wild rice with mushrooms (250c), mixed italian style veggies (50c), salad (50c), cheesecake (150c)=710c

Total: 1825

Lucky Number Seven

Seven months ago, on October 4, I started to seriously contemplate my weight and the impact it was having on my health, my family, and my life.  I weighed a whopping 240 pounds (11 pounds shy of my top weight of 251, which was what I weighed when the twins were delivered the September 13 months prior).  I was at a place where I knew that I had to do something.  It was more than vanity or embarrassment (although those did play into it);  I was killing myself.  Obesity has so many health issues associated with it, and I already had the achy joints, hypertension, and high cholesterol; the PCOS combined with my weight had me on a freight train headed towards Diabetes Station.  I can't do much about the Hashimoto's and the DJD... They are what they are... But the other things... in my control (at least to a degree).  Add to that the knowledge that Bobby and Maya were watching me to learn their food habits and I had hit a low.

And a high.

Because nothing in the last few years has changed me the way that I changed a little over half a year ago.  I dont know if it was the motivation to be a better role model for my children or if it was the realization that the power to change was mine alone or if I finally saw the impact that this all had on my health.  I dont know.  Maybe it was a combination of all those things and then some.

But this morning, when I stepped on the scale for the 7 month, I saw numbers I hadnt seen in several years: 170.  It's a special number to me.  It not only is a loss total of 70 pounds (so far!) or the number that signifies I only have 20 pounds until I hit my goal.  It's one of the last weights I remember of my early marriage.  At my wedding, I was 160 pounds, up 5 pounds since college (which was up 5 pounds from my high school graduation).  When I encountered pregnancy that first time, I was (you guessed it) 170 pounds.  I havent been this weight since late-2000.  Even writing that, a tingle runs through my body.  (And, funny enough, I thought I was way heavy then!!!)

It's still strange to me that random folks comment on my weight.  At church or in social gatherings, or commenting to pictures on FB.  I dont see it when I look in the mirror, but I'm starting to see it- clearly- in photos.  There is a change.  And it isnt just the weight.  It's me.
September 2010: 240 lbs
December 2010: 210 lbs
late-March 2011: 180 lbs

Me now!  170 lbs

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


weight: 171

breakfast: cereal=240
lunch: chicken salad (300c) on flatbread (90c) with cheese (70c)=460c
snack: rice cakes (130c) and soft cheese (70c)=200c
snack: flatbread crackers (60c) and crab dip (80c)=140c
snack: carrots (70c) and french onion dip (110c)=180c
dinner: gourmet salad {greens, tomato, carrots, feta salsa, yellowfin, mushrooms} (470c), cheesecake (215)=685

Total: 1905c
Net: 1635c

Took 2 walks, 40 minutes each, pushing the stroller: burned 135c each; total burned : 270c

Tasty Tuesday: Chicken Soup

I love to make a roast chicken on the weekend for a big, family lunch.  Long after my guests have gone, I take the remaining chicken and rip it into small pieces and toss it, along with the bones, in a large pot of boiling water.  Add to it some onion and celery, along with a bay leaf or two, and boil it for an hour, then simmer it for another hour.  Remove from heat and cool.  I have to pick through it with my fingers to get all the chicken from the bone.  Then pour the liquid, veggies, and chicken (but not the bone or bay leaves!) into freezer safe containers.  Freeze and use whenever you need broth.... Or, make soup!  Soup is most common in our home!

6 cups *homemade* chicken stock, with stock veggies and chicken pieces
3 small potatos, largely chopped with the skin
1 cup shredded carrots
3 ribs of celery, cut into 1in pieces
1 small onion, largly chopped
1 cup orzo (if desired)

Put all the veggies in a crock pot and then top with the stock.  Cook on high for 6 hours.  During the last half hour of cooking, switch the heat to low and add the orzo.  (Alternately, you could let it cook the 6 hours and switch to warm- in case you werent home- and add the orzo 30 minutes before serving).

Makes 6 servings: 150-200c per serving (depending on how you seasoned the chicken to make your stock and whether or not you add pasta)

Monday, May 2, 2011


weight: 171.5

breakfast: cereal=130c
snack: rice cakes (130c) and cheese (80c)=210c
lunch: HC meal (260c), cheesecake (150c)=410c
dinner: 1/2c homemade chicken salad (300c) on a spinach flatbread (90c), chips (90c), cantaloupe banana smoothie (350c), cheesecake (220c)=1050
preworkout snack: rice cakes and cheese (225c), cake (225c)=450c

Total: 2250
Net: 1645

65min on the elliptical (5.05 miles), burned 620c
(hopefully enough to negate the chocolate cake and cheesecake that I had to have to settle my nerves today!!!)

The Week in Review, 4/25-5/1

I started out blogging with the scale reading: 172 lbs
As of this morning, the scale reading: 171.5 lbs
Total Weight Lost:  0.5 lbs
This is worse than last week.

I started out the week hoping to do at least 4 days of exercise.
This week, I ran, walked, strength trained, biked, and used the elliptical over 5 days.

This week, I wanted to keep my calories around 1700 calories per day.
My best day logged 1710 calories and my worst day logged 2910 calories.
My average calories, per day, for the week, were 2336 total calories
This is worse than last week.

On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being a complete success with no regrets, I would give this week a 6.  Again with the eating choices!  Ugh!  I swear, I have my workouts in check, but I have got to be more diligent in making better food choices.  A jelly donut?  Really?  Get real!!!

Sunday, May 1, 2011


weight: 172

Sunday social: donut (450c), jelly beans (200c), apple juice (240c), coffee (40c)=930c
PM Snack: crab dip with crackers and shrimp cocktail=400c
Dinner: roasted chicken (400c) with gravy (40c), roll (70c), salad (50c), roasted potatoes and carrots (100c), chocolate cake (400c), coffee (60c)=1120c

total: 2450

(I'll be lucky to not gain a pound before tomorrow's weigh!!  What a way to start off May!)

Month in Review: April 2011

I began April 1st weighing 179.5 lbs with a BMI of 28.1.
As of May 1st, I weigh 172 lbs and have a BMI of 26.9

Overall, I have lost 68 lbs and 10.7 BMI points.
For the month of March, I worked out 43 times, with a mix of running, walking, using the elliptical, strength training, swimming, and biking.  This averages to more than once a day!  (sometimes several exercises took place on the same day, hence the 2-to-1 ratio on some days)

My calorie goal per day for February was to consume 1700 calories.  I averaged 2036 per day.  This is 336 over my increased goal, and is a fairly large increase from last month.  I have got to do better with my eating and I need to stop self sabotaging!!!

I am so close to being 20 pounds away from my goal and I find myself self-sabotaging more and more.  Although I'm hitting major strides in my long runs, I need to be more diligent in re-evaluating food choices.  I know what I need to do, but I find that I am my own worst enemy.  I need to recapture the strength I had in the beginning and stop pretending that I'm in a maintenance phase.  I dont want to have to work out to simply mitigate calories.  I want to continue making good, positive choices.  And, although I do 'overall', I know that I need some serious day-to-day tweaks.

Easter 2011; 172.5 lbs