Friday, March 25, 2011

Plateauing.... Again

Back in January, I had hit a plateau... I was hanging out at around 200 pounds and wasn't really getting anymore results doing exactly what I'd been doing.  Except, I wasn't exactly doing what I'd been doing.  There were some moments of mindless snacking... perhaps a few issues with portions (not so much with individual portion control but more adding more food when I wasn't really hungry)...

It seems like getting closer to goals equals self sabotage.  The first time, I was struggling to get beyond the 200 mark.  And now, it's getting into the 170s.  I had set Apr 1 as my goal for 175 (that most likely wont be happening!)

I'm trying to figure out my issue here...  I havent been in the 170s since 2000, when I got pregnant.  I was 150-155 when I met Peter, gained the traditional 10-15 pounds during the year after our wedding, and then got pregnant and gained... and lost the baby and gained some more... and...  Part of me wonders if I'm struggling to get back on track because, subconsciously, I'm feeling like dropping these 10 pounds is somehow trying to erase 10 years.  I know that isn't true, but I cant help but wonder why I eat a cookie when I dont need it...

Perhaps part of it is passing Peter's weight.  My next 'major' goal is to pass Peter's weight.  He's 6'2 and weighs, give or take, 165-170.  We've set "170" as his general weight, so, for me to pass it and hit that goal (I'm 5'7 and shouldn't weigh more than him); am I somewhat afraid to do that?  To pass him?  I can already wear his jeans (which amazes me); you'd think that it wouldnt be more frightening to weigh the same or less...

I dont know... But I am struggling and the first step to fixing my January plateau was to give words to it.  2 months later, I'm 20 pounds lighter.  So, it worked!

Hopefully, it will work this time too!!